A New Perspective on Competition : The Mindful competitor

"To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders."

— Lao Tzu

I’d like to welcome you to my previous way of seeing life.

For a long time, everything revolved around competition.

Every day, I strove to eat, train, work, focus, study, rest, skate, shoot, sleep, and meditate more than my opponent so I could reach my goal of becoming a professional hockey player.

Competition was my way of life. Through the lens of ‘’I need to be the biggest competitor out there if I want to win’’, it became a lifestyle, I would say it became my drug. Even if hockey was the thing I loved the most and I was 100% passionate about it, other things collapse with this pure love :

● Identification around being a high achiever

● Fear of not being enough, not being important, no being accepted

● The belief that I wouldn’t be enough if I didn’t do it all

● it became my place where all my emotions were expressed

● self-worth

Does this sound familiar to you?

To me, it didn’t feel like fear at first. In my head, I thought I was just striving to be the best version of myself, putting all my chances into becoming a pro hockey player. In that beast mode, it felt amazing—exhausting, but exhilarating. The adrenaline from the internal hype was powerful, fun, and rewarding.

You know that feeling when someone says you can’t, and you look them in the eye and think: I’ll show you how great I am.

Or when you dominate the competition.

Or when you wake up at 4:30 AM just to feel like you have an edge.

Or when you get beat, cut, or released, and that inner fire screams, I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU!

But there’s another side to this coin—a darker side that looks shiny on the outside but can burn you with your inner fire. Yes, in the fast-paced, ego-centered, ultra-obsessive, performance-driven world we live in today, being the hardest worker in the room is highly gratifying. If you open YouTube and search for "success motivation," you’ll find countless motivational videos preaching that sleep is for the weak and that you must always work harder. I have watched all those videos without a single exception at like 12 years old so you can be sure it was rock-solid in my head.

But again, is it the only way?

There must be a better way.

I think the first question shouldn’t be: How can I get there?

Instead, I wish I had asked myself these questions before hitting rock bottom more than once:

● Why do I want to get there?

● Where does this drive come from?

● What are the deep fears driving me underneath all of that?

● Am I able to step into the journey without being overly focused on the end result?

● What do I believe I need to sacrifice to become X?

● Is it true?

● What could hold me back?

● Do I feel enough as I am, and will achieving X make me feel enough? If so, is that true?

● Am I choosing this competitive path to fill a void within me, or is it because it’s my passion—the thing I love most, the thing that brings me fulfillment, purpose, and pure joy?

… and so on.

Let me challenge you a bit. Let me ask you a question (one inspired by the Mind Architect, Peter Crone):

Can you be at peace with the possibility that you might fail?

If you fail, can you be 100% okay with that reality?

As Peter Crone describes this state so well, it requires being fully committed but totally unattached. You can’t attain and sustain greatness and peace simultaneously if you’re not at peace with the fact that you might lose. This is where magic happens, where freedom begins, and where success expands in ways you can’t even imagine.

When you fear failure, your attention fixates on not failing. Ironically, this increases your chances of failure because your energy focuses on it. Instead, imagine creating a possibility of winning—a reality not anchored in the fear of failure, but in the joy of striving.

This is where the mindful part of competition becomes meaningful. It’s about adopting a Mindful Competitor Mindset.

The Mindful Competitor Mindset

It’s all about the mindset and the meaning you attach to everything you do.

Honestly, I feel comfortable speaking about the mindful aspect of competition—not because I’ve made it to the NHL, not because I’m a renowned sports psychologist who’s worked with countless pro athletes, not because I own a big company, or have an amazing podcast and certainly not because I think I’m some enlightened “Buddha.”

I share this perspective because life hit me hard—repeatedly—with a metaphorical 2x4 to teach me these lessons. In fact, life hit me more than once. Why?

Because I was too cocky, too driven, and thought of myself as invincible, but in reality, although I was really driven, I was also full of fear so giving it all even if it meant nearly death was easier for me than to take action and then trust. This is why I acted as though I could outwork, out-train, and out-focus everyone and everything. I thought life was about pushing, pushing, and pushing harder.

So life hit harder. And harder. Until one day, it broke me.

I was at my best physically and mentally. A big year was coming. I had high expectations: being the captain of my team, having a season to distinguish myself, earning a shot at playing NCAA hockey, charming some girls (I was pretty muscular and confident in what I now call conditional confidence), and inspiring my teammates to win a championship by leading by example.

That was what I expected…

If you don’t sense it coming, let me tell you—it didn’t happen that way.

I’m not entirely sure how, but my whole system shut down after I got COVID and a MONO in less than 6 weeks. Over the next five months, I lost 45 pounds. I played only four games that year, all while being sick. The girl I was seeing left me. Getting out of bed felt like a monumental chore some days. My best friend was suicidal. My parents were both in some kind of depression, watching me struggle. I gave up my captaincy so a teammate could do a better job. My family and I spent a significant amount of money trying to restore my health. My grandfather died. I had a car accident and I did not fuc…g know what was happening to my body.

No one could figure out what was happening either, so I was labeled as "soft, anxious and weak."

I felt like absolute garbage—mentally, physically, emotionally. I was forced to confront some hard truths and shift my perspective. At that point, I had two choices:

1. Be the victim and believe life is happening to me.

2. Accept, let go, surrender, dig deep into my soul, face my fears, build trust, develop resilience, shift my mindset, and change my perspective.

I chose the second option.

I chose to wake up every morning and tell life: Give me whatever you’ve got. I’ll be okay. I know, deep down, that this is a gift in disguise—a lesson to make me stronger and more grounded.

This is where the Mindful Competitor was born.

The Rise of the Mindful Competitor

Being a mindful competitor isn’t just about practicing meditation or competing to satisfy inner insecurities. It’s a whole new way of competing and stepping into life—one that’s meaningful and mindful.

To embody the Mindful Competitor is to adopt a way of living.

● It’s about stepping into the journey with groundedness and pure joy, without being overly attached to the end goal.

● It’s about being aware of your deepest fears, accepting them, and loving the part of you that is afraid.

● It’s about accepting your lowest.

● It’s about recognizing that competition is the highest form of cooperation. With the opponent giving it their all to beat you, both of you are inspired to reach new heights of potential and possibility, creating something greater than yourselves.

● It’s about being fully present because you never know when it will end.

● It’s about treating every detail of your journey—every workout, every moment of practice—as an end in itself, not merely a means to an end.

As Bruce Lee once said: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

The New Paradigm

The Mindful Competitor steps into a new paradigm of performance by breaking limits and embracing everything life throws at them.

-It’s about consciousness, awareness, and freedom.

Aligning with your path and giving it your all.

-It’s about accepting both the good and the bad.

Recognizing that nothing is inherently good or bad—it just is.

-It’s about honesty, vulnerability, and humility.

Acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses without judgment, in fact, it is about becoming a space of unconditional LOVE

-It’s about doing something because you want to—not because you have to. Taking everything as an end in itself, not just a means to an end.

When you embrace this mindset, there’s an inner peace that comes with the process—the suffering, the excitement, the pain, the loss, the victories, and the struggles.

-It’s about presence and connection. With yourself—your body, emotions, and awareness. As Eckhart Tolle said: “He who knows what happens in his head is separate from the inner voice and becomes the observer.”

But it’s also about giving it all in a space of presence, love and dedication — like an animal—for the sake of it.

● Trying to be the best and fighting for what you want.

● Taking action in a smart and aligned way.

● Trusting with all your heart.

● Praying with all your soul.

● Caring for your goal like it’s your baby.

A MIND-BODY-SPIRIT approach to human potential

Life is mental. As one of the 7 laws of hermetic principles, this law states that all reality originates from the mind, a unifying consciousness or intelligence that exists throughout the Universe. In the performance world like in athletics, it is well known that 90% is mental, but how many of them take care of the mental side of the game? Why is it that we put so much time and effort into the body and physical or tactical skills but so little on the mind? With that being said, I think we should not bypass a 3rd layer which is the spirit, a force within a human being thought to give the body life, energy, and power. This is where the mindful competitor rises.

The Body:

I won’t go into detail about this aspect of the mindful competitor, as it’s not my area of expertise. Generally, though, this is where most people focus their attention. Whether you aim to become a better athlete, speaker, or artist, the question is: What physical actions can bring you closer to the version of yourself you want to become and the goals you want to achieve?

The Mind (Mindset):

Without delving too deeply into the intricate world of the mind or the spiritual and metaphysical understandings of this space, I see the mind as a space in which your body is. This space holds your emotions, perspectives, beliefs, contexts, and more. There are many ways to approach this aspect, and these can be explored more deeply with the help of a coach, therapist, sports psychologist, or other professional. Some key approaches include:

• Identifying limiting blocks, beliefs, and contexts.

• Practicing meditation, mindfulness, contemplation, and presence.

• Being mindful of what you "ingest" (e.g., consumption of news, social media, podcasts).

• Monitoring the "frequency" you carry (frequency = what you frequently focus on + the people you spend your time with).

• Taking care of your thoughts.

• Practicing focus.

• Having a process-oriented mindset or results-oriented mindset.

• Cultivating a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset.

• Developing a heart-centered mindset.

• Understanding your value system.

• Reflecting on how you view yourself.

And so much more...

The Spirit:

In my concept of the mindful competitor, this aspect serves as the bridge between the "you" you think you are and a deeper, more authentic self, A.K.A, "the soul." In my perspective, we are often unaware of its specific purpose, but life provides the exact tools and lessons we need at the right time to align with this part of ourselves. As you bring consciousness and awareness into your path, you gain the opportunity to use life’s challenges to strengthen your inner power and clarity. By understanding and embodying the following quote, we can alleviate the suffering inherent in the human experience and redirect that energy toward growth and liberation:

“Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free.”
~Peter Crone, The Mind Architect

No matter who you are, events will happen for you, to heal, break free, and remove the limiting beliefs and contexts you hold against yourself. This process allows your soul to return to its purest state of love, possibility, and freedom.

When you realize and embody this truth, life becomes a playground. In my view, there are many ways to support this journey:

• Not resisting what is and accepting what life presents to you.

• Adopting a vision of love rather than fear.

• Harnessing the power of perspective to recognize that whatever you’re going through serves a deeper purpose beyond the "little you."

• Using prayer as a way to express your truth and connect with your deeper self.

• Walking by faith, not by sight—refusing to let outward circumstances cloud your understanding of what may truly be happening.

• And so much more…

...

But, I know it is not what you are used to hearing…

I know, your mind is afraid that if you go to sleep someone might pass in front of you…

I know when you end your training and you have to rest, but you hear David Goggins's (nothing against the human being, I am just thinking it is not the way to reach the best human potential you are capable of) voice in your ear: “What the fu.. are you doing you little bi..h, get up, go work and go suffer”.

it can be uncomfortable to step into the unknown…

Yes, it’s scary to try a different way…

But like Albert Einstein once said: “The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.”

Sometimes, you gotta be ready to step into the unknown to find the real magic that you are and when you have the faith and trust to go beyond what everyone tells you what you are supposed to do and find alignment, connection and love within your heart and soul, you better be ready because the universe will show up in a way that you won’t believe in.

What Are Your Thoughts?

How does this philosophy resonate with you?

What parts of the Mindful Competitor concept speak to you?

Where can I improve or expand this philosophy?

Let me know.

© 2025 Mikael Lavallee-Gravel All right reserved Mikaellavallee-gravel.com